These days there's pretty much an app for everything, whether it be delivering your favorite dish to wherever you happen to be or helping you unwind after an especially stressful day — plus practically every possible thing in between. And one of the latest additions to your digital offerings aims to do for your sex life what mediation apps do for your anxiety levels: It's a sexual wellness app that could be the key to demystifying your most burning sexual questions and helping you realize exactly what you need in the bedroom — whether with or without a partner.
Lover was co-founded by Dr. Britney Blair, a clinical psychologist and behavioral medicine expert, who also founded the largest sex therapy clinic in Northern California, The Clinic. Not only that, but one of its investors was the co-founder and former CEO of Tinder, so the team there is well-versed in all things sex and relationships. Actually, you can think of it like your favorite meditation app, but instead of focusing on de- stressing you, its role is to de-stigmatize sex, help you understand your desires as well as communicate them with a partner, and give you tools to spice up your sex life.
Obviously Lover is not intended to be a replacement for using a sex therapist, but for those who find it difficult to talk about sexual taboos or topics — whether it be with a partner or friends — as well as those who don't have the means to speak to a professional, it could be a helpful step toward having a better and more fulfilled sex life. So how does it do that? The cornerstone of the app is finding out what kind of lover you are, which it does by way of a via Myers-Briggs-like test developed by a team of sexual experts, including Dr. Blair.
By determining your sexual "type" (there are 12 options, including the Jaguar, The Loyalist, The Muse, and The Sentimentalist), Lover can tailor your content accordingly. You can use the tools on your own, or to help better communicate with your partner. "The profiles are easily shareable with partners, so they are a great way to start a dialogue and open up communication," says Dr. Blair. "And we have tools and games that also facilitate communication. For example, there is a turn on game that displays both common and less common fantasies, and users can pair with their partner and choose to either thumbs up or thumbs down on these cards. Where both partners thumbs up on a card, the app matches them on that particular turn on and shares it with both partners." These types of interactive elements are aimed to make the conversation more fun and informational, versus intimidating or scary.
But Dr. Blair is quick to point out that solo sex is just as important, and Lover can help you learn ways to amp up your libido, climax more easily, and overall enjoy their experience more, regardless of whether a partner is involved. And besides using a tool like this app to keep you informed, and hopefully break down some of the stigma around sex, the sexual health expert also has some key advice for feeling even better in the bedroom: Cultivate self-love and body confidence without limitations or judgement. "Women cope with so many narratives around body image and most women feel there is some part of their body they dislike or feel uncomfortable with and so I think learning to love your body is another great thing you can do to build your sexual confidence and optimize your sexual wellness," she says.