“Stashing” Is A Thing, And It’s Worse Than Ghosting

We kinda love that in 2017 there are labels for every type of bad behavior in the world of dating. First, we had “ghosting,” which is, of course, when someone you’re dating disappears from your inbox and life without a peep. Like this.

Then, we had “breadcrumbing,” which is when someone occasionally sends you emoji encouragement to keep you believing that the two of you are a thing, just in case they need to reach into their dating bench for attention or sex later on down the line. While we don’t know what the below says, we agree: No grazie.

Speaking from experience with those two joyful tactics and the newest, called “stashing,” we have to say that the latter is, by far, the worst. When someone is “stashing” you, it basically means they’re dating you but don’t want anyone to know it, and also won’t weave you into their life in any meaningful way. They are not that into you but also you’re better than nothing, so they may spend a lot of time with you while they look for the real deal. Signs of stashing include being excluded from all activities involving your significant other’s family and friends, a complete absence of any hint of you on their social media accounts and sensitivity to you posting about them on yours. This is all done so that they can feel less guilty about remaining in the game—if you find out, they can just say, “We were never really together,” and then point to a ton of evidence to back it up. Cool, right?

The only positive thing about being stashed is that you’re definitely aware that it’s happening, so if you continue to date someone even after realizing you’re essentially the human version of Candy Crush to them, it’s kinda on you (and perhaps you’re just killing time, too, whether you’ve admitted it to yourself or not). If you, or someone you love, is a victim of “stashing,” just know that the “stasher” will make you feel insane for bringing it up, so it’s best to ghost yourself out of their lives ASAP. Isn’t modern dating the best?! Swoon, 2017. Swoon.