My Paris Grief Trip Was Healing In More Ways Than One

Whenever I asked my mother which city was on her travel bucket list, she never wavered when she said Paris. So in 2022, after my health scare with a rare tumor that led to two hospitalizations and months of doctor appointments, I told her that it was time for us to start living and doing the things we always wanted to do. There, we began making plans to take a trip to Paris in 2025, which would be in her 65th year.

Unfortunately, my mom didn’t make it to that birthday; she would unexpectedly pass in 2023. Not only did my heart break into pieces from her passing, but it became harder to dream. Things that once seemed possible now felt, well, impossible without her. Grief makes parts of yourself disappear while you figure out how to live without your person. One thing that has helped me cope with this great loss is working on the personal goals I shared with her and doing the things we said we would do together.

Inspired by a friend who took a birthday trip to Egypt to honor his late mother, I decided to do the same by taking a trip to Paris on the second anniversary of her passing. As it happens, grief-related travel has been on the rise according to Conde Nast Traveller’s 2024 wellness travel trends report. Exploration has become a new form of therapy for people who need to step out of their daily responsibilities to navigate the impact of their loss or feel connected to their loved one again.

While planning this trip was challenging, knowing that she wouldn’t be physically there, I was comforted by the fact that I could incorporate things we had discussed doing, as well as things I know she would have enjoyed. At the time, I was in need of a change of scenery, because I was feeling stuck and limited, and I was grateful for my cousin who, out of concern, joined me for the trip for support. So this first trip to the City of Light served dual purposes. I wanted to find a way to honor my mom while also tapping into my own curiosities and interests during my time in France. I planned an itinerary that was twofold: It honored my mom and it reinspired me. Here’s how I did Paris with these goals in mind.

Where I Stayed

My mom was a hotel-type woman, and so am I. However, on our last family trip, we stayed in a Sonder apartment that gave us space and security. So, for Paris, I had two different lodging experiences: one at a hotel for four nights and one in a more intimate apartment setting for three nights. For the first leg of the trip, I chose Hotel Balzac, a Bertrand Hospitality property that was once the home of 19th-century French novelist Honoré de Balzac in the Champs-Élysées district. I knew my mother would appreciate a boutique hotel experience that oozed quiet luxury. As a lover of interior design, she had an eye for minimalist decor, but the unique furniture and statement backsplash tiles made a statement that would’ve also caught her eye. I appreciate how quiet and calm the atmosphere was, unlike the typical bustle of a city hotel. The rooms were reimagined in the style of Honoré de Balzac’s work, as seen in his novel Lily of the Valley, where he wrote, “The daylight, filtered through the white curtains, fell in soft, clear sheets upon the objects.”

The hotel also had premium amenities that included bathrobes and slippers, turndown service with a chocolate treat, Wi-Fi and daily breakfast, which wasn’t a typical buffet. Instead, it consisted of a menu of coffee, tea, and fresh detox juices, as well as an assortment of pastries, fruits, and eggs fixed however you like.

Apartment Life

Around the time I was planning this trip, TikTok had me obsessed with Parisian apartment life, but I was nervous about booking one for my first time in a foreign country, that is until I discovered HIGHSTAY. The luxury hospitality brand offers a collection of private apartments featuring the comfort of luxury amenities and a concierge service similar to what you would find in a hotel.

I stayed in an apartment in HIGHSTAY’s Boetie residence in Champs-Élysées, just a few blocks from Hotel Balzac. A special code is required to access the building, and once you are inside, you are greeted by a concierge who checks you in and escorts you to your apartment, where you are welcomed with a fresh flower bouquet and champagne. The spacious apartment also featured a minimalist design with statement furniture pieces and a signature scent of vanilla and bourbon, which I loved.

The condo had a fully equipped kitchen with appliances, cookware, and utensils to prepare your own meals. There was a washer and dryer, as well as a half bath that complemented the full bathroom, featuring a red marble accent. Every day, the housekeeper came and replenished water, refreshed the bathroom and toiletries, and made up the bed. It was the best of both worlds, having the space of an apartment but with the security and luxury of a hotel. At HIGHSTAY, I got a peek into Parisian living, and I can see myself returning for an extended stay.

Where I Ate

One of my most cherished memories is spending the weekend with my mom for her last birthday. I took her for a high tea experience in Nashville, so I wanted to honor her with an authentic high tea in Paris. In my research, I came across Le Dali’s famous afternoon tea at Le Meurice, which features Cédric Grolet’s pastry creations sans the long lines at one of his uber-popular cafes. I became intrigued with Chef Grolet after discovering him on Instagram, and made it a mission to have one of his viral confections while in Paris. Upon sitting for afternoon tea, my waitress set down a set of china that featured a cardinal. Many believe that when you see this particular bird, it’s considered a sign from a loved one who has passed away. So, I instantly felt like my mother was joining me for tea.

For authentic French dining, my cousin who joined me on the trip for support recommended Lafayette’s Paris after seeing some great YouTube reviews. It’s known to be the after-hours spot for tastemakers in Paris, but I was more curious about the food. Everything about Lafayette’s was such a delightful surprise. From being greeted outside by a very stylish gentleman who checked us in to a space designed with traditional French tapestry, I was also not expecting to hear early 2000s hip-hop and R&B classics playing while I dined. Lafayette’s chicken and caviar combo, made famous by Rihanna, was a favorite, and I couldn’t get enough of their version of the Porn Star, a popular Parisian cocktail.

What I Did

As I walked through the Parisian streets and visited landmarks like the Arc de Triomphe, Palace of Versailles, and the Louvre Museum, which houses and preserves some of the world’s greatest treasures, I was reminded that the past is meant to influence our present and future. I needed that reminder as I navigated the emotions of grief. My grief came in waves as I explored and laid eyes on the very things my mother wanted to see. I was in awe of the time, care, detail, and structure of buildings that have lasted for centuries.

Before she passed, my mother and I talked about seeing the Mona Lisa at the Louvre. I knew I had to bear witness to the famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci. As I waited in line and pushed my way through the crowd to take in the masterpiece, I was reminded of a time my mom stood in a four-hour line at the Metropolitan Museum with me to see the “Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty” exhibit. The memory always reminds me to be patient and persistent if I want to get to my goal — or even just to experience a thing of beauty.

Another highlight was exploring the gardens at the Palace of Versailles. Visiting Paris in the spring is ideal in that you are able to see the city in full bloom. Tulips were my mother’s favorite flower, and there was no shortage of them at Versailles.

But I couldn’t leave France without visiting the Champagne region. A personal goal of mine was to learn more about the process of making the regional wine, so I booked a Get Your Guide tour to Épernay that included a visit to three champagne houses, a course lunch, and round-trip transportation. My cousin and I visited Nicolas Feuillatte, Champagne Collery, and Charles Mignon, and learned about these smaller, family-owned brands, their process for making their champagne and how it’s changed over the years, and most importantly, how to check if your champagne is spoiled.

I went to Paris with grief feeling heavy, and I left feeling lighter. From the conversations I had with Parisians in passing to the observations of their confidence and more relaxed pace, I left inspired by the city’s culture. It was also a mighty presence that gave me a much-needed boost of confidence and a refreshing change from my daily routine. It reminded me that I can accomplish difficult things, meet my goals, and that I’m never alone. My mother is always with me. I felt like a part of my old self was resurfacing — confident and self-assured in a new city and in an experience that I got to own, mold, and shape, because that’s the beauty of a vacation.