The New Starbucks Frappuccino Is Freaking Me Out
In case you hadn’t noticed, we’ve reached peak unicorn. Everything from macaroons to toast has gotten in on the unicorn trend—which is basically utilizing blue and/or pink pastels in food then Instagramming it. (I’d actually argue that the unicorn trend is really more reminiscent of My Little Pony, but I digress.) If you’re into cotton candy–colored foods and Starbucks, gird your loins because, starting tomorrow, Starbucks will be serving up a color- and flavor-changing unicorn Frappuccino. (I’ll let all those buzzwords sink in for a moment.)
TBH, it’s kind of freaking me out. Eleven-year-old me is all about this. But 20-something me, who is aware of the unfortunate concept of calories and the dangers of sugar, doesn’t quite know how to feel. There’s so much going on. It’s a crème Frappuccino with mango syrup and sour blue drizzle, with whipped cream and a dusting of sweet and sour powder. And that’s not all. The drink starts off purple and sweet and fruity but changes, as you stir it, to pink and tart. What kind of wizardry is this? Who at Starbucks had to sell their firstborn to get this color- and flavor-changing recipe? Is there any way to drink this without going into a sugar coma? What is the point of Frappuccinos without caffeine? And is Tina Belcher aware of this mystical creation? Guys, I have questions. While those will likely remain a mystery, I do know that this fairy-tale fantasy beverage will be available for a limited time only, so if you want to try it (or just ‘gram it), get thee to a Starbucks between April 19 and 23.
Oh, 2017. What a time to be alive.