I Owe My Revenge Body To Cheese

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I’m so all about Khloé Kardashian and her revenge body—she’s by far my favorite of the clan, and she’s endured so much disgusting bullying that if I were her, I’d be hiding under an assumed identity in Siberia by now. Instead, she’s living her best life, and I couldn’t be more impressed by her resiliency. That said, I’m not sure that the best message for women is that they should get revenge by making their bodies more traditionally appealing with impossible, 2017 beauty ideals. I still think achieving personal happiness is the best revenge, and—as any woman whose size has fluctuated knows—true happiness isn’t influenced by your physical appearance in any deep or lasting way.

I recently experienced heartbreak on an epic scale, or at least experienced ordinary betrayal that felt epic to me (as one does). My first instinct was, of course, to get abs—as if this would somehow make the sociopath I was dating sorry for all of the insane things he did to hurt me. But I’m in my 30s now, and what I now know is that my ex doesn’t care if I have abs or not and, honestly, neither do I. What does matter to me is feeling good about myself, and not letting him take that away from me. This means continuing to live my version of my best life, which just so happens to involve copious amounts of macaroni and cheese. Yes, you read that right. I love mac and cheese, it makes me happy, and I would rather have the delicious gooey dish than a body some hater or former lover considers to be “sexy.” In that spirit, and in the spirit of National Cheese Lover’s Day, I’ve decided to share a few killer mac-and-cheese recipes that can aid in your efforts to get your own best revenge.

More Cheese, Please

Southern Mac And Cheese

I'm from Texas originally, and watching my mother make mac and cheese is equal parts tantalizing and horrifying, as it requires literal pounds of butter, cheese and milk. If you're not lactose intolerant, I suggest you try this version for the closest approximation of my childhood dream dinner.

Recipe Author: The Pioneer Woman Prep & Cook: 30 minutes Servings: 6

Avocado Mac And Cheese

This recipe is the perfect combination of comfort food and brain food that will keep you from crashing out on carbs. Since the inclusion of avocado means this mac won't last more than two days, I suggest you invite friends over to share in the indulgence.

Recipe Author: Two Peas And Their Pod Prep & Cook Time: 25 minutes Servings: 4-6

Vegan Green Chili Mac And Cheese

I have a lot of vegan friends, and ditching cheese seems to be one of the hardest parts of the no-animal-products program. This recipe is as divine for those who can't indulge in the real deal as it is for cheese addicts like myself.

Recipe Author: Vegan Green Chili Mac And Cheese Prep & Cook Time: 30 minutes Servings: 4