Has the health and wellness world finally “jumped the shark,” as they say? According to the International Union of Crystallography Journal, which we suppose is a real thing, scientists have discovered that protein crystals found in certain cockroaches can be made into milk that packs three times the energy boost of the dairy variety. According to one of the lead investigators, these proteins are a complete food—meaning they have proteins fats, and sugars in them—and they provide a slow and steady release of energy over time.
We don’t know about you, but we don’t care how good for us this Pacific Beetle Cockroach milk is for us—we have boundaries when it comes to what we’ll ingest in the name of good health. Luckily, the scientists involved are now aiming to mass produce these proteins synthetically in the lab using a yeast system. This approach probably isn’t due to animal rights activists protesting for the protection of dirty sewer bugs, if we had to guess, but more so due to the fact that people like us would rather die young than drink the milk of a cockroach. We can’t wait to meet the hipster duo inevitably stoked to bring this fad to Whole Foods shelves everywhere… stay tuned.