7 Unhealthy Lies We Tell Ourselves About Relationships
Most of the people we know are in great relationships, but every so often we meet up with a friend whose recounting of her current romantic entanglement makes us cringe. We’re all guilty of deluding ourselves about the quality of our partnership at one point in our lives or another, and often we don’t realize we’re doing it until we finally wise up and exit the relationship. If you recognize any of the following seven sentences running through your head on a regular basis, it might be time to sack your significant other.
Are We Deluding Ourselves For Love?
Unless you're the most punk-rock person on the planet, this is probably not true. Partnering affects our social capital, and so we do it with that in mind. Plus, if the bulk of your friends and family don't like your significant other, there is usually a valid reason... so you probably should care.
No, you shouldn't. Nice is a baseline requirement, not the sole criteria for a long-lasting relationship.
If this is a thought you have to have, you are in the wrong relationship. This means you are further from finding the right one than you would be if you were alone so, in short, it is not better than flying solo.
There's an old saying that goes like this: "Women go into marriage hoping the man will change, and men go into marriage hoping the woman won't. Both are disappointed." The truth is, traits that are fundamental to who we are don't change no matter our gender, at least not without Herculean efforts. So, if you're hoping he or she will suddenly evolve into a person with a high emotional IQ, you're probably deluding yourself. Also, when someone tells you they don't want marriage or kids, listen to them.
"I need them."
Girlfriend, unless you have a debilitating disease, you don't need anyone. If you lived without them before, you can live without them once more, even if things are trickier in the short term.
Your partner is likewise a grown adult human (we hope) who is perfectly capable of taking care of themselves. If you suffer from savior complex like we do, this can be hard to comprehend but trust us—the only person who can save someone is themselves.
Um, no. It isn't. Yes, every relationship has good moments and bad moments, ups and downs, and times at which one person's feelings get hurt by the other person's; however, if you feel more pain in your relationship than you do pleasure or contentedness, there is something better out there for you. Seek counseling, dump the bum or get a divorce and move to Bali, all actions that will lead you to a relationship in which you cry less, laugh more and maybe even make a baby in the jungle.