Not a Regular, But A Cool Mom: Staying True To You As A New Mom

Ilana Torbiner has always had a knack for quiet resonance. Whether it's through her writing, the gentle cadence of her social presence, or her curated yet unfussy style, the creator has carved out a space that feels both stylish and grounded. Now, as a new mother, Ilana is embracing a new chapter, one filled with softness, change, and the everyday recalibration that early motherhood demands. But at the heart of it all, she’s staying true to herself.

“Motherhood is transformative in many ways,” she reflects, “but I’m grateful that I feel more like myself than ever, just with a lot less down time.”

In this new season of life, Ilana has found herself becoming more intentional, not only with her time, but with her energy, her community, and the example she’s setting for her daughter. “I’m more mindful of the people I surround myself with,” she says. “And more conscious of the kind of woman I want to model for my child.”

Still, like so many mothers navigating identity amidst sleepless nights and shifting priorities, Ilana admits it’s not about perfect balance. “Some days I feel really good about work, or my relationships, or my role as a mom. But I have yet to have a day where I feel I mastered it all, and I’m not sure that day will ever come.”

Instead, she leans into the art of presence, honoring the parts of herself that remain unchanged while welcoming who she’s becoming. “I think it’s about making intentional choices, and learning to accept and welcome the shifts that come with this new role.”

Ilana’s relationship with personal style has always been deeply rooted in self-expression, and that hasn’t changed. “Feeling comfortable in my skin will always be important to me,” she says. “I always want to feel like myself, especially when so much around me is changing.”

These days, that means streamlining. “Getting dressed now is more about efficiency,” she explains. “I rely more on simple uniforms. It’s a lot of denim, cotton basics, and practical footwear. The bags are bigger, and the personal touches are more important.”

She’s also reclaiming the idea of “dressing like a mom.” For her, it’s less about sacrifice and more about alignment. “Comfort and ease are at the forefront of the idea, but you can still stick to those pillars while choosing things that feel authentic and empowering to you.”

Her current go-to? A matching khaki set. “It’s so easy to throw on and comfortable to run around in.” Other staples include light wash denim, worn with a casual sweater she’s had for years and now wears more than ever. “These are the pieces that ground me, especially on low-sleep days.”

While her wardrobe has become more streamlined, Ilana’s creative spirit continues to expand, largely through writing. With over 14,000 subscribers, her newsletter has become both a creative outlet and a connective tissue between her and her growing community.

“It’s important to have something for yourself, no matter what stage of life you’re in,” she says. “And for me, that exists in [writing]. It’s my outlet to express myself creatively, and it’s also a way to connect with others who are navigating similar transitions.”

One unexpected gift of motherhood? A newfound solidarity. “I feel immediately connected to other mothers, which is something I didn’t expect,” she shares. “There’s an unspoken sense of appreciation and compassion for what we have and continue to go through.”

Motherhood, for Ilana, has also been a clarifying force. “It’s given me permission to reevaluate my principles and core beliefs. It puts everything into perspective.” And in the quieter moments, between emails, outfit changes, or the hum of a stroller ride, there’s beauty in the simplicity. “I also just can’t get enough of the soft skin and hugs and kisses,” she adds, laughing.

When asked what advice she would offer new moms looking to stay true to themselves, her answer is simple and sure: “Give yourself grace. Give yourself permission to evolve, while staying connected to the things you love.”

As for her motherhood style? She sums it up in three words: Loving, relaxed, ever-evolving.

BDG Media newsroom and editorial staff were not involved in the creation of this content.