Living alone can be incredible—as Whoopi Goldberg recently put it, “I don’t want somebody in my house,” to which we say, amen, sister. Dwelling solo can also, however, be weird, lonely, expensive and a host of other things that only those who have done it would understand. Here, 9 phenomena you’ll recognize if you’ve ever lived by yourself—some awesome, some a little sad and some just flat-out humiliating (but, in the best way).
9 Relatable Truths About Living Solo
Carrie Bradshaw's "secret single behavior"—which she described as something you wouldn't want anyone else to see you do—was eating saltines with jelly while standing up and reading fashion magazines. Charlotte's was examining her pores for hours in a hand mirror. S.S.B. isn't necessarily shameful behavior, it's just usually something you do when you're alone that you believe other people don't, e.g. choreographing dances in your apartment to really embarrassing songs like Meatloaf's "I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)." Not that we know anyone who does this. Ahem.
Then you realize this isn't true, because someone pays you to do a job and therefore will always notice if you're not doing it. Which is (sort of) better than nothing.
If you don't already have one, you'll occasionally wonder if you should. Even though having space to yourself is the best thing ever, sometimes it feels weird to be the only living thing in the room, and cats are additive without being intrusive.
You spoon the sh*t out of that thing. (See also: You have a stuffed animal).
Wine. One vegetable (usually past its prime). Frozen mac and cheese. Old takeout. Wine.
What? We've all done it.
A washing machine that floods or a sink that fails to drain would be examples of catastrophic events that send solo-dwellers over the edge. What would be a hilarious bonding experience with a roommate or a stressful relationship test for a couple instead becomes an incredibly daunting challenge that somehow signifies all the ways in which you're failing at life and are going to die alone and miserable. This feeling, however, reverses itself when you fix said issue all by yourself, because you're so much better than all the people who don't have to figure out how to do so.
When wet towels pile up on the bed, there's no one to blame but you. The same goes for dirty dishes in the sink. And yet, somehow, you don't really seem to notice your own slovenly behavior. When you live with someone, they will always point it out to you, but it's not like you're sitting alone in your apartment shaming yourself for not washing the dishes. You're just... not washing them. Because you don't like to. And it's gross and annoying, but only your as-of-yet-unadopted cat, stuffed animal, and wilting plant are present to take offense. Ignorance of your own shortcomings might not be great for self-growth, but it's blissful all the same.
They're also the only spaces you utilize 90% of the time. In them, you eat, drink, watch TV, read books, cry, etc.