Bikini season is almost upon us, and though we always love looking at them, it’s no secret that not all of us love wearing them. While we continue to work on our body image—because “your body does not determine your worth,” as this writer so concisely phrased it—we must find ways to simply survive the season of skimp, no matter our shape or size. Here, six things all girls who hate swimsuits understand.
Too Real
Parties centering on a pool require strategy: How do you look like a fun participant without having to socialize with your cellulite out? It's stressful—maybe you can just wear a cute sundress and hang out on a lawn chair? But what if everyone else is swimming? Or it gets too hot? In this case, high-waisted shorts and a bikini top can be clutch, just so long as you aren't pressured to actually get in the water.
If you don't like the way you look in a bikini, you're definitely not going to like the way you look in one under the fluorescent lights of a cramped fitting room. At least when you try them on at home you can dim the light and choose your most flattering mirror.
Or not all of them, anyway. We have what we lovingly refer to as Buddha belly, which we've heard can be reversed by doing crunches but we wouldn't know because, well, we don't do crunches. One would think if you're self-conscious about your Buddha belly the best tactic might be to cover it up, but au contraire—sometimes the roundness of the tummy is actually accentuated when covered in elastic fabric. (Picture a baby ballerina and you'll get what we mean.) Also, any booty-related insecurities are completely inescapable during swimsuit season, one-piece or not, unless you're Carrie Bradshaw and somehow look adorable wearing men's board shorts.
The only thing worse than having friends with hot bikini bodies is having friends with hot bikini bodies who like to take photos of themselves and expect you to pose with them. We can't count the number of times we've been pictured in full-body coverage next to our exhibitionist friends. God bless them; we are jealous AF and would love to at least have their confidence, if not their abs. Until then, we'll settle for trying to make sweatshirts look normal on the beach.
Whether this means you're going to work out for the first time (might we suggest RBG's fitness routine?) or you're just going to become more self-accepting, this goal renews annually and is never met. Spoiler alert: It never will be! But you'll definitely look back at old photos of yourself, think you look beautiful and wonder why you were so self-loathing. Thanks, society!
When trolls hated on Amy's swimsuit body, she promptly posted the paparazzi shot to her Instagram and captioned it, "Good morning trolls! I hope you find some joy in your lives today in a human interaction and not just in writing unkind things to a stranger you've never met who triggers something in you that makes you feel powerless and alone. This is how I look. I feel happy. I think I look strong and healthy and also like Miss Trunchbull from Matilda. Kisses!"
Want to stop being your own troll? Here's how.
