The Queen Has 4 Cocktails Per Day, Including A Martini Lunch

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We’re headquartered in Los Angeles, where people feel guilty about drinking once they reach the age of 30 and generally go dry by 40, so we find the news that the Queen of England indulges in four alcoholic beverages per day particularly shocking. According to a report by The Telegraph, HRH has quite the cocktail schedule. Being that she’s not a savage, she almost waits until noon for her first drink, taking down a gin and Dubonnet just before lunch. Then she enjoys her midday meal with both a glass of wine and a dry gin martini, because, well, she’s 91 and the Queen of England, so why not? Most impressively, she somehow continues to reign for many hours without a daytime hangover before ending her night in a fashion we imagine many queens before her have also employed—with a nightcap of champagne.

Now, we feel a bit naughty publishing this news story as we don’t want to encourage binge drinking—which is technically what this six units of alcohol per day has been labeled—but we also just love that the elderly Queen behaves as though she were Don Draper in his prime on a daily basis, and therefore needed to share this information in order to spread joy in a dark time. If you’re debating that solo glass of wine tonight, take heart knowing that one of the longest-working people in the entire world has already outdrunk you by several cocktails today. We know we will.