Kim and Kanye Are Officially Just Messing With Us… Right?

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Kim Kardashian West and husband Kanye cover the September issue of Harper’s Bazaar, and the accompanying interview, we think, finally blows their cover. None of what they say is actually serious, right? We imagine they have a speechwriter, a comedy speechwriter, who helps them come up with this stuff in advance of interviews. Maybe it’s Amy Schumer. Here, some of our favorite excerpts from the article, which you can read in its entirety here.

Harper’s Bazaar: Kanye, your favorite body part—your own, or Kim’s. Kanye: Is the face a body part? Kim: I love my upper stomach. I just always seem to have abs.

Harper’s Bazaar: Favorite book? Kanye: Yeah, I don’t have an answer for that.

Harper’s Bazaar: Hidden talent? Kim: I can smell when someone has a cavity. It’s a very specific smell—not a bad breath smell—but something really strong. Kanye: I can analyze people’s intentions. Immediately. That’s just a warning. To everyone.

Harper’s Bazaar: Biggest insecurity? Kanye: The one thing I don’t have an insecurity about is public perception. I’m not going to conform to it, you know? Harper’s Bazaar: Yes, the more you pay attention to the winds, you can overthink things. Kanye: Here’s something contrary to popular belief: I don’t actually like thinking. I think people think I like to think a lot. And I don’t. I do not like to think at all. Harper’s Bazaar: You’re an underthinker. Kanye: I told my trainer today, I’m a mix of a 14-year-old high schooler and a 60-year-old guy. It can never fall in the 30s or 40s. It has to be 100 percent 60 or 100 percent 14, no in between.

Harper’s Bazaar: Who’s more vain? Kim: I mean, me. Kanye: Yeah, I think she has vanity. And with me, I don’t give a fuck, bro; it is what it is. I’m the best—now what? I don’t know if that’s a vain statement.

Harper’s Bazaar: Is there anything you wish the world didn’t know about you? Kim: Definitely. I was going to say some ugly looks and stuff. Kanye: Some pregnancy stuff. You killed this second pregnancy, though.Your body slammed that crap. You made that second pregnancy your bitch.

Harper’s Bazaar: What makes you both laugh? Kanye: I think my sense of humor is really dark and super twisted and stuff like that. It’s like, “Is this a funny joke for real? Or am I just rich?”

They also managed to pull off a pretty insane music video for Kanye’s song Wolves in collaboration with Balmain for their Fall 2016 ad campaign —along with Frank Ocean, Sia, Vic Mensa, a slew of top models and Steven Klein. You may notice they’re wearing the same outfits they donned at the Met Gala earlier this year, and it actually includes footage of them from that night. How’s that for multi-tasking? See it here: