5 Things Brad Pitt Is Probably Texting Jen Aniston

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We don’t usually weigh in on gossip, but it’s Hump Day and we’re still exhausted from the Oscars so forgive us just this one time. Us Weekly is reporting that Brad Pitt has been texting Jen Aniston post-divorce, and it’s just too relatable a story to skip. We’re going to pass on publicly wishing these two would reunite because Jen is happily married and we are happy for her happiness and instead imagine the kinds of things Brad is typing into his iPhone to Jen based on our own experiences with remorseful exes. Read on for a mid-week chuckle.

"Are You Up?"

Ex texting always happens between the hours of 10pm and 4am, and we're sure its especially dark times at night for Pitt, who likely misses the noisy pitter patter of a zillion tiny feet.

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"The Way I Look At Justin. LOL, Jk."

Brad Pitt now has just one less divorce than Ross Gellar.

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"Going Through Old Photos, Found This" (+ Heart Emoji)

We're so on to this trick, buddy.

@oneandonlypalmilla

"I'm thinking of going to Cabo soon. Any recs?"

This one, too.

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"I miss you. Do you ever miss me?"

To which Jen responds with one of these epic zingers.