My Quest To Become A Victoria's Secret Angel: Week 2

The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show is an event—a gathering of some of the world’s most beautiful, glamorous people walking an ornate runway wearing OTT lingerie. On a quest to wear this year's Fantasy Bra (which looks amazing and there's no way I'm actually getting near it), I enlist the help of two actual Victoria's Secret Angels: Adriana Lima and Alessandra Ambrosio. They share the deets of their pre-show prep with me so I can follow along. These women are flawless, genetically blessed humans, while I'm the kind of person who leaves her car keys on top of her car, so needless to say the process has been interesting. In the weeks leading up to the show, I'm sharing my intimate Angel-prep diary. This is week two. (To start at the beginning, click here.)


The Beauty Routine

"I drink tons of water on a regular basis, which really helps my skin," says Adriana. As I discussed last week, drinking more water is something I'm struggling with. I try to drink more water, but honestly I probably fail. (The title of my memoir.)

All this Angel-ing has been exhausting, so as I approach the beauty routines, I'm horrified by the base I'm starting with. I look in the mirror and realize my brows are more out of control than the whole Jelena situation. My hair is also on the straggly side, as it's been a hot second since I've had a cut. And a couple of random segments have decided to grow faster than others, which creates an unpleasant effect—certainly not the image you conjure with the phrase "Victoria's Secret Angel waves." (I'm making myself sound like a hot mess, which is not entirely inaccurate.)

All this to say, I need to get back to basics before I can even think about becoming Angel-ready.

Luckily, Kristen Shaw and Jimena Garcia at The Cabin in Venice come to my rescue. "Help me," I plead both verbally and with my eyes as I walk into the adorable, cozy space. Kristen expertly cuts off a couple inches of my hair (necessary), adds some layers and gives me sexy, tousled waves—and also manages to make it look like I have way more hair than I actually do. Then Jimena gets started on my brows. Under her expert eye, I go through a metamorphosis.

I also start using Alessandra-approved haircare products. "I use Marajó Hair daily to make sure my hair gets proper nourishment and looks healthy and shiny. It's so simple and doesn't take much time," she tells me. Sold. Also, the packaging is shiny and I'm basically a magpie with a grasp of the English language so this is very appealing to me. The Nourishing Cleansing Crème and Deep Treatment Butter make my hair very soft, and I use a touch of the Blow Out Styling Crème when I dry my hair. I spend the next 15 minutes alternating between (creepily?) stroking my hair and taking selfies.


Victoria's Secret Angel or perpetually tired lifestyle editor, you tell me.

The Workouts

Alessandra tells me she works out five to six times a week, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's in the gym that often. "Sometimes that means playing volleyball with my friends on the beach, going for a hike, doing yoga or taking classes," she explains. "Lately I've been working out with Tracy Anderson. Her classes are so much fun and help tone your whole body.”

I've heard all about Tracy's classes but have never taken one—my quest to become an Angel seems like a good time to start. Then I realize that in LA, the only Tracy Anderson studios are in Studio City or Brentwood. I plug these locations into Google Maps along with my work address and my home address. I'm trying to see if, by some grace of goddess, a studio is in the near vicinity of the two places I frequent most. What I get back is a horrible squiggly blue shape. If it were a Rorschach test, my response would be "the year 2017."

Like all the important things in my life, I decide to procrastinate on Tracy Anderson. That leaves me with playing volleyball (ha) with my friends (haha) on the beach (HAHA!), hiking or yoga. I choose yoga and hit up Y7. It's hot yoga, so that has to be even better than plain old yoga, right? That's what I tell myself while I'm dripping sweat everywhere and attempting to chaturanga.

The Food

"I try to eat a lot of protein and veggies leading up to the show because I'm working out a lot and want to make sure my body still has energy. I typically eat eggs, nuts, smoothies and lots of raw or cooked veggies," Adriana tells me, so this is what I eat. She also mentions Juice Press as a good on-the-go option, which you’ll recall from last week.

Midweek, Juice Press arrives at the office and it's a boon of gluten-free, organic snacks. We're always told to have healthy snacks on hand in case we get hungry, but like, what if said healthy snacks are actually delicious and you end up eating too many of them? (#ItHappenedToMe) Seriously, the Mint Chip Energy Bars are life.

I stress-eat the Vanilla Gladiator cookies on one particularly busy day. It's very un-Angel-like.

Apparently it takes more than 14 days to transform into a VS Angel—check back next week for more details about my journey.